your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
