I haven't been this sober since birth.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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