Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
