found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Randomize
