when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
