rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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