I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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