I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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