You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
fuck your aforementioned shoe
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
