I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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