i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
