Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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