Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
