You're so nebulous sometimes
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
