She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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