NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
