I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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