She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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