there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
