she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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