I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
