On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
