Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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