six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
