i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
