I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
