Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
