He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
