saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
