Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
