Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
