dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
