There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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