Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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