I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
