I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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