He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize