You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
