There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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