I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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