got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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