he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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