yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
