small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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