is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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