So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
