Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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