I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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