I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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