She went from zero to smokin in five shots
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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