come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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