Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.