If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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