Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
