Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
