I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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