What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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