I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
